Some of Your Third-Grade Friend’s Best Lies
I can’t come to your birthday party because Ernie Mancini, my uncle’s old business partner, is looking for me. No, it’s not because I spend weekends at my dad’s.
May 25, 2020
Everyday Parenting Tips
It may be futile to try to stop your kids from seeing monsters altogether. After all, they are on the front page of the Times every day, usually striking a menacing pose.
May 18, 2020
The Last Quarantine Think Piece
When Ivanka speaks, in her breathy Tweety Bird-at-boarding-school burble, the effect is complete: she’s like an American Girl doll with a trust fund and a Gucci attaché case.
May 11, 2020
Add cilantro to the pot. To you, cilantro tastes like soap. But who cares? It’s the end of the world. Hey, add some real soap, too!
May 4, 2020
What to Watch During the Lockdown: Month 38
You’ve seen “Downton Abbey” three times. For your next posh Brit fix, try this nativity play from an exclusive London primary school, filmed by a proud front-row parent.
April 27, 2020
Style Rules You Must Never Break
Dress for the job you want, not the job you have, assuming that the job you want is not one in which you get to lounge around your apartment naked.
April 20, 2020
When This Is All Over
I will never complain about having to go to work. Every day, I will get down on my knees and kiss that gray carpeting, as long as the industrial fibres do not irritate my lips too badly.
April 13, 2020
If I go to the grocery store to wander the aisles of canned food which have nothing left, I’ll miss Skyping with my friend while we say over and over, “This is so crazy.”
March 30, 2020
Some Coronavirus Guidelines
The good news is that if you continue worrying you can avoid contracting the virus entirely by dying of a premature heart attack.
March 23, 2020
Your Check Is Ready
You must be very eager to have such a large check mailed to you. At the moment, it is sitting, pert and pretty, on our desk, waiting to be mailed.
March 2, 2020