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Trump Claims That Wall Around White House Is to Prevent Staff from Quitting En Masse

体育投注平台Trump added that he was considering invoking the Insurrection Act of 1807 to put down further rebellions by the Secretary of Defense, Mark Esper.

June 5, 2020

Trump’s Bleach Moment Now Seeming Like Career High Point

“In retrospect, suggesting that people ingest Clorox seems like the act of a responsible public servant,” one historian said.

June 4, 2020

Social-Media Challenges That Are Too Complicated to Go Viral

“Put on Jeans” Challenge: Sorry, Levi’s, we’re never wearing jeans again. We’ve progressed to a highly developed sweatpants culture.

June 4, 2020

Trump Says Inspection Revealed Bunker Was Dusty Because Obama Never Used It

Trump also noted that Obama never once used the Insurrection Act of 1807 in his entire time in office.

June 3, 2020

Your Twenties as Video-Game Achievements

Skills: Pretending to like I.P.A.s, coping with hangovers.

June 3, 2020
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Cartoons from the Issue

Comics

On Being Gainfully Unemployed

Day 22: Start an intolerable podcast reviewing bodega toilet paper.

Initial Interpretations of Quarantine Terms

体育投注平台Contract tracing: trying to find a friend of a friend of a friend who can set me up with that guy I met one time.

How My Misdirected Feelings Have Come Out Lately

体育投注平台Spent forty-five minutes choreographing a victory dance for remembering to put grounds in the coffee machine before going to bed.